Comments of unusual source

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Feb 262012

Lines from The Princess Bride that Double as Comments on Freshman Composition Papers.

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

“At a time like this that’s all you can think to say?”

“Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”

“I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that phrase.”

“I would not say such things if I were you!”

“I do not suppose you could speed things up?”

“Skip to the end!”

“That is the sound of ultimate suffering.”


~ Jennifer Simonson @ McSweeney’s

Literary Genre Translations.

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Dec 012011

Original Text

“I ate a sandwich and looked out the window.”

– – –


“I placed the allotted nutrition capsules on my tongue bed and looked to the Nahin VI-8373 space podhole.”


“My dragon, Ralfarus, and I, Genflowfla’ii, choked down the hardened cheese curd and two-part-moons-old bread as we peered out of the meeting cavern.”

continues @ McSweeney’s

Diary of a Young Banker

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Jul 292011

Dear Diary: Although I am but newly hired, I have received an important assignment: to confidentially transfer the sum of 56,000,000.00$ (fifty-six million United States Dollars) out of our country by means of the ordinary checking account of a trusted American citizen or his next to kin. The sum is resulted from an over-invoiced contract between the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (N.N.P.C.) and a foreign oil exploration concern, identity now unknown. Time is of the essence, because if the Nigerian government discovers the existence of this sum within fourteen (14) days it may impose a depository tax!

Okay, I’ll admit it: I don’t have any plan for how I might use this in my classroom, but it’s too good not to share. And I’m sure there’s some way to incorporate it into WR101 or WR121. So let me know in the comments, FYWPers: how would you develop an assignment or example around this story?

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